No...I'm not leaving my family to go "find myself". It is just kind of the stage I am in right now. It has nothing to do with my relationship with Christ, either. I know WHO I AM and WHOSE I AM. It just has to do with Who I Am apart from my children.
As you know, I'm solo most of the day these days. It is a weird feeling! For 7 1/2 years I had someone who was attached to me for almost all of the time. I remember how weird I felt becoming a mom. It was so odd. I didn't have my job any more for my identity. I was now a mom and I didn't know what this new identity would feel like. It was a hard adjustment to say the least.
So, now I am in the same predicament. I have a new identity...Stay-at-home-Elementary-Children- Mom. I now am figuring out that I can do some of the things I haven't been able to do in the past 7 1/2 years. I can take Guitar Lessons (I haven't done that yet but I'm working on finding a teacher). I can play tennis (started that last week...played 3 times this week). I can go have lunch with friends whatever day I want and not have to rush (oops...did that a few too many times last week). I can volunteer at the school (I'm helping with this amazing program the school is doing called Motor Lab and just finished Fall Festival...whew! I'm tired!). I can go to bible study without worrying about how long it takes from my day. I can workout at home without interruption.
So many new experiences! Most days I feel guilty about being able to "Find Myself". I wish Jeffrey had the same opportunity but maybe his identity didn't change as much as mine did. I don't know...
I just know I'm enjoying this time.