Home Alone...Eli Style

You've seen the movie "Home Alone" and you could never imagine that happening to you. Well, yesterday Eli was "Home Alone".
Eli has been quite the escape artist...always wanting to go across the street to play with Pebbles (our neighbor's dog). Because we forgot to fill the hole where he was escaping this weekend, we had to have Eli on a leash the past few days when he needed to go outside to do his business. After pooping in his cage (sorry to be so graphic) yesterday afternoon (I was gone from 11:15-2:30pm...I guess that was too long for him...or I wasn't patient enough while leash walking him), I bathed Eli (outside while the boys were playing in the sprinklers...yes, we are white trash).
Our neighbors invited the boys to swim in their pool. I dried Eli off and tied him to the door (where he prefers over the cage) because his cage was still dirty (right as I went to clean up the mess, the City came to say they were going to have to turn off the water for 30 minutes to do some work...what? I had a HUGE mess to clean up!...I thought I was going to cry!) and outside in the backyard. I noticed his leash was 1/2 way chewed up but i figured there was no way he could get free from it.
We returned from the swimming pool to find what looked like a scene from the day after a college frat party!! There was stuff all over the floor!
Shampoo bottle chewed up with shampoo ALL OVER the carpet (thank goodness I'm getting new carpet next week), Plastic cups chewed up all over the house (that he had gotten from the pantry), Jake's new Darth Vader pinata chewed to pieces (we had JUST purchased it 2 hours prior for $20), Jake's birthday party supplies strewn all over the study...and on and on. The only thing I was thankful for was he didn't make it upstairs (where the toys are) or to my closet (where the shoes are). HELP ME, Lord!!!
Jeffrey is out of town until Friday night. Eli might have to go "out of town" as well until he gets back!!!